Guy Talk
by paulmcuk
Summary: Dan has a problem. Casey is surprised when he finds out what it is. So are Isaac and Elliot. Jeremy doesn't know and nobody's going to tell him. And what about Natalie? This is serious stuff. This is guy talk.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: This story is a prequel to "Empty Orchestra" and "About Last Year"...and a companion piece to "Girl Talk". I recommend you read those afterwards to get the full story.

"Hurt yourself?" asked Casey. He had just found Dan in the mens-room running cold water over his grazed and bruised hand.

"You could say that" replied Dan.

"What happened?"

"I..er...hit something."

"What?"

"The wall."

"You hit the wall?"

"Yeah."

Casey looked again at Dan's knuckles."Looks like you hit it pretty hard."

"Hard enough to hurt."

"So, did you win?"

"I don't think so. The wall had a weight advantage."

"It's always that way with walls. Did you mean to hit it?"

"Well I meant to hit something. The wall just happened to be there."

"So it was nothing personal."

"No, I have nothing against the wall."

"You just wanted to hit something?"

"Yeah."

"But preferably something softer than a wall?"

"That would have been better."

"It would. So now we've established that you wanted to hit something, do you want to tell me why?"

"Not really."

"Wrong answer. Try again."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Why not?"

"Because it's personal."

"Personal? Since when can't you tell me something because it's personal?"

"Since now."

A thought struck Casey. "Is it something I did?"

"No."

"Then I see no reason why you can't tell me."

"I just can't."

"Oh I see" said Casey. "It's another one of THOSE situations."

"What situations."

"The ones where you won't talk to me but you'll talk to Natalie."

"What do you mean."

"Don't play dumb. You know what I mean. You know there's stuff you tell her that you don't tell me."

"Maybe there is. But there's also stuff I tell you that I don't tell her."

"Not important stuff. Not personal stuff."

"I don't need this right now Casey."

"Ok I'll drop it."

"Good."

"Once you've told me why you feel more comfortable talking to Natalie than to me."

Dan sighed. "It's not a case of being comfortable. It's just...Natalie always seems to know the right thing to say."

"Meaning I don't?"

Dan simply raised his eyebrows.

"Ok" said Casey, "point taken."

"And anyway it's not like that this time" said Dan. "I'm not telling you and I'm not telling Natalie either."

"You're not telling Natalie? Wow it must be serious. What is it?"

"Weren't you listening just then?"

"I thought you might have changed your mind."

"Well I haven't."

"Come on Dan. If it's something so big that you can't even tell Natalie then it's clearly too big to handle on your own."

"I can try."

"If you don't tell me I'll just work it out."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

"Go ahead."

Casey paced the floor in the manner of a Scotland Yard detective as he outlined his thoughts. "Ok. I know that whatever it was made you angry enough to hit the wall. I know from your own admission that it's personal to you so it's probably not something that would make ME hit the wall. I also know that it's something that you won't tell Natalie."

"Carry on Sherlock" said Dan.

"So" continued Casey warming to his role as sleuth, "it seems to me that the key to this is determining why you won't tell Natalie - since you usually tell her everything." He looked at Dan but Dan said nothing.

Casey carried on. "What subject would you not be able to talk to Natalie about? Well we know you can talk to her about anything so it obviously isn't about anything it's about anyWHO."

"Casey..." began Dan.

"Don't stop me now Dan I'm on a roll. So, who would you not be able to talk to Natalie about? Not me, or Dana but.... Jeremy. Or Natalie herself. Or Jeremy AND Natalie." He pointed theatrically at Dan. "It's something to do with Natalie or Jeremy isn't it?"

Dan gave up and nodded.

"Aha!" said Casey in triumph. "But what is it? Is one of them having an affair or something?"

"No."

Casey waited for more but it didn't come. "Ok then" he said. "Inspector McCall will work it out."

"Oh God" said Dan.

"We know it's about Natalie and Jeremy or both. But it's also personal to you." He paused for a moment. "You've only just got angry so it must have happened recently and the only thing I can think of that happened today was when Jeremy told us....oh my God."

He turned to his friend. "Don't tell me it's that Dan, please."

"I didn't want to tell you anything."

"It is though isn't it? You got angry when Jeremy told us he was thinking of asking Natalie to marry him."

Dan's silence was all the confirmation Casey needed.

"Jesus Dan, I knew you and Natalie were close but I had no idea you felt like that. Does she know?"

Dan shook his head.

"I thought you were less than enthusuasitic when Jeremy told us. I just figured you were having a bad day."

"Do you think Jeremy noticed?"

"No. He was too excited."

Dan looked at his friend. "What am I going to do Casey?"

"What can you do?"

"I thought I could try to persuade Jeremy that it's a bad idea?"

"Sure, you could do that. Jeremy wouldn't find that at all suspicious."

"Well what do you think I should do?"

"I'm not going to tell you what I think you should do. This is dangerous territory and I'd rather stay out of it."

"At least help me figure out my options."

"Your options are easy. One, you smile and say nothing. Two, you tell Jeremy it's a bad idea. Three, you tell Natalie how you feel. Four, you kill Jeremy. Five, you kill yourself."

"None of those sound too appealing."

"Well lets eliminate some. I take it you don't want to kill yourself?"

"Not right now. I think that's an option I'll keep till after the wedding."

"Ok. And I suppose killing Jeremy is also out of the question?"

Dan pretended to consider it before replying. "No. It's not his fault he loves Natalie."

"Or that she loves him."

"Thanks Casey."

"Just making sure you know where you stand. Ok, we already decided that you couldn't persuade Jeremy not to ask her so you're left with two options. Do nothing, or tell Natalie how you feel."

"I can't just do nothing. It would eat me up inside."

"Well, math was never my strongest subject but I think that just leaves one option."

"But I can't tell Natalie."

"Why not?"

"Because she might hate me."

"Natalie is incapable of hating anyone - especially you."

"Worse then. She might pity me."

"She might" admitted Casey.

"Either way our friendship would be over."

"Only if she didn't feel the same way."

"She doesn't."

"How do you know?"

"Because she's never given any sign of it. Has she ever said anything to you that would suggest that she saw me as more than a friend?"

Casey considered. "No" he said.

"There you are then."

"But neither had you until today" observed Casey.

"Fair point."

"Plus, if Natalie was going to declare undying love for you, I don't think I'd be her choice of confidante."

"Who would?"

"You, probably. Has she ever hinted?"

"Well there was this one time, about a year ago."

"She hinted?"

"You could call it a hint."

"What did she do?"

"She had sex with me."

"I think I'm going to have to ask you to repeat that Dan" asked Casey once he had recovered from the shock.

"We had sex" repeated Dan as casually as if he was saying "we had pizza".

"You and Natalie?"

"Me and Natalie."

"And this was a year ago?"

"About that."

"And you just decided to tell me this now?"

"Better late than never."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"It was....."

"Personal, I know."

"It wasn't just you. We haven't told anybody."

"I bet Natalie told Dana."

"She didn't."

"Don't you believe it. Girls always tell."

"Well if she did Dana hasn't told anyone."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me. Come to that I can't believe Dana didn't tell me."

"I wish I'd never said anything now."

"Does Jeremy know?"

"Of course not."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me."

"Will you stop saying that."

"I can't. I'm overwhelmed with disbelief."

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. It's just that we didn't want anyone to know."

"Ok, I'll forgive you."

"Thanks."

"Once you tell me the details."

"What details."

"Well how did it happen?"

"It just happenned."

"Details!"

Dan sighed. "You remember the Karaoke night we had?"

"Do I ever. How could I not win the prize? I WAS Tom Jones that night."

"Whatever. Anyway, afterwards, Natalie and I shared a cab and when we got to my place I invited her for coffee, as you do."

"As you do" agreed Casey.

"It was late so I expected her to decline politely and carry on home but she said yes, which was a little inconvenient."

"Why was it inconvenient?"

"I was out of coffee."

Casey empathised with the situation. "Isn't it hell trying to buy coffee at that time of the morning?"

"I have no idea, I didn't try."

"Well what did you do?"

"I gave her tea."

"You drink tea?"

"On occasion."

"Very refined."

"I like to think so. Anyway we were drinking tea and chatting and after a while it just seemed the most natural thing in the world to kiss her. So I did."

"And what did she do?"

"She kissed me back."

"Good sign."

"Well I obviously thought so because ten minutes later we were having sex."

"Quick work" said Casey impressed. "And?"

Dan was confused. "And nothing" he said. "Just sex."

"I mean, and what happened afterwards? Why didn't you start dating? You had a head start and everything."

"It.... just didn't feel right."

"Maybe it was your technique."

"Thank you Dr Ruth. Except it wasn't the physical side that didn't feel right, the physical side was great."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah."

"How great?"

"Really great."

"Was it the best ever?"

"Casey!"

"Sorry" said Casey. "I got carried away."

"The problem" explained Dan, "was the emotional side. It just didn't feel right."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Natalie said afterwards that it was like making love with her brother."

"Oooh not good" said Casey making a face. "Very icky in fact. Did she feel like your sister?"

"No it wasn't that bad for me. It was more like being with my little sister's best friend."

"Better, but still a bit icky."

"Yeah."

"So you both decided to leave it?"

"We did. And then after a while she started dating Jeremy and that was that."

"But if it was so icky, why are you suddenly so cut up about her marrying Jeremy?"

"She's not marrying Jeremy" said Dan sharply. "He hasn't even asked her yet."

"Ok. Why are you so cut up about the potential prospect of her maybe possibly marrying Jeremy in the event that he actually gets round to asking her?"

"It's different now."

"Why?"

"Because my feelings changed."

"She's no longer your little sister's best friend?"

"Yes. But after she's been away to college and come back all grown up and sexy as hell."

"Don't you love it when that happens?"

Dan ignored him. "So now I want her but I've left it too late."

"Unless her feelings have changed as well. Maybe she now sees you as a brother who suddenly finds out that he isn't really her brother but was an orphan who was left on the doorstep one cold winter's evening."

"Very likely."

"Stranger things happen at sea."

"Like what?"

"How should I know? I've never been to sea. Probably mermaids, sea-serpents and the like."

"Just tell me honestly Casey" said Dan dragging the conversation back on track. "Do you think there's a chance?"

"I don't know if there's a chance Dan. If there is it's a slim one. She's been dating Jeremy for a long time now and she's never slow to tell poeple how great he treats her."

"I know."

"Plus the relationship is obviously strong enough for Jeremy to seriously consider asking her to marry him."

"So there's no chance?"

"Like I said, I don't know. But if you don't do something quick it'll be too late. Then you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

"So you're saying I should tell her?"

"I suppose so."

"I thought you didn't want to get involved."

"I didn't. But as my father used to say, 'A friend in need is a pain in the neck. So you better help them before they drive you crazy.'."

"I know how you could help me" said Dan.

"I though I just did."

"I know how you could help me more."

"How."

"Speak to Natalie for me."

"No way Dan. If you're going to try and break up Natalie's relationship you can do it on your own."

"I hadn't thought of it like that."

"Well think about it. Because you can't both have Natalie. If you get her, it's only because you were able to split them up."

Dan was silent.

"So what are you going to do?" asked Casey.

"I don't know" replied Dan.

Isaac entered the room and was surprised to see the two men clearly not engaged in normal bathroom activities. "What are you two doing in here?" he asked.

"Just talking" said Casey.

"Talking?"

"Talking."

"In the bathroom?"

"Yeah. Why not?"

"Because men don't talk in the bathroom. That is not what men do."

"Of course we talk - I've talked to you in here before now."

"No you haven't."

"I have."

"You haven't."

"I'm pretty sure I have."

"No you haven't because that is not something men do. We say 'Hi, how's it going' or 'Wasn't the traffic murder this morning' or 'How about the game last night'. We do not TALK."

"Oh I see."

"Good. So what are you talking about?"

"Dan has the hots for Natalie and doesn't know what to do about it."

"CASEY!" said Dan.

"Oops" said Casey.

"Isaac, I do not have the hots for Natalie" said Dan.

"Don't you?" said Isaac.

"Yes I do."

"You'd be useless under interrogation."

"Well I suppose there's not much point in denying it now that Mouth McCall here has had his say."

"Sorry" said Casey, who clearly wasn't.

"Of course" said Isaac " I always knew you and Natalie were close."

"I said that" said Casey.

"And Natalie is a very lovely girl."

"She is" agreed Dan.

"Any man would be lucky to have her."

"He would."

"But unfortunately, unless I'm well out of date, another man already has her."

"That's the problem" said Casey.

"Well the solution is simple" said Isaac.

"It is" asked Dan.

"Sure it is. You keep it to yourself and you sew Casey's mouth shut."

"I was TRYING to keep it to myself" said Dan.

"He was" agreed Casey. "That's why he hit the wall instead of Jeremy."

"You hit the wall?" Isaac asked Dan.

Dan nodded and showed him his knuckles.

"Who won?"

"I already did that joke" said Casey.

"I knew I could rely on you Casey." Issac looked at Dan. "It's really that bad?"

Dan nodded.

"I had no idea."

"Neither does Natalie" said Casey.

"She doesn't? How does she feel about you?"

"I don't know."

"Did she ever give any sign."

"They had sex" said Casey.

"You had sex?" Isaac asked Dan.

Dan gave Casey a hard stare but nodded.

"Well I'd call that a sign" said Isaac.

"It was a long time ago and only once" explained Dan.

"So what do you intend to do about it?" asked Isaac. "Apart from beat up defenselesss walls."

"I don't know" replied Dan..

"Hi guys" said Jeremy as he entered. "What are you talking about?

"NOTHING!" chorused the three men.

"Nothing?"

"Well nothing serious" said Casey.

"Good. I'm in the mood for nothing serious. What is it?"

"Er... just...relationships and stuff."

"How can you say relationships aren't serious? I'm very serious about my relationship with Natalie."

"We know that Jeremy" said Dan.

"That's right you do" said Jeremy smiling. "Hey, did you tell Isaac?"

"Tell me what?" asked Isaac.

"We thought we'd leave that up to you" said Dan.

"Tell me what?" asked Isaac.

"I'm going to ask Natalie to marry me."

"Marry you?" Isaac looked at Dan and Casey. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It wasn't our place to" said Casey.

"You didn't think it relevant to our converstaion?" Isaac winced as he realised what he had just said.

Jeremy was puzzled. "What conversation?"

"About relationships" chorused the other three.

Jeremy wasn't totally convinced but was too happy to care. "So what do you think Isaac?"

"About relationships?"

"About MY relationship, and my future plans for it."

"I think that it's wonderful news Jeremy."

"Thanks."

"You're a lucky man to have someone like Natalie."

"I know. Isn't she great?"

"She certainly is."

This seemed to satisfy Jeremy. "Oh Dan, I'm glad I found you here. I wanted to ask you something."

"Go ahead."

"Would you be my best man?"

"Oh..er..I'm flattered Jeremy but don't you have a closer friend than me?"

"Sure I do. We're friends of course Dan, but the only things we really have in common are work and Natalie."

"Natalie?"

"Yeah, she says you're like her brother. And that's why I'm asking you. Natalie would really love it if you were best man."

"She would?"

"Sure she would. And I want everything to be perfect for her. Will you do it?"

"Er, yeah, if Natalie's ok with it. But aren't you forgetting something Jeremy?"

"What?"

"You haven't actually asked her yet."

Jeremy laughed. "You're right, I'm getting a little carried away. But she'll say yes won't she?" He suddenly turned anxious. "You don't think she'll say no do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe she'll think it's a little soon for such a big step?"

"Soon? It's been almost a year."

"A years not that long."

"Plus we virtually live together anyway - albeit in two different appartments."

"Well, yeah..."

"Don't you think I should ask her Dan?"

Dan glanced at the silent Casey and Isaac. "I think you should ask her Jeremy. And what's more I think she'll say yes."

"Great. Thanks Dan."

"But Jeremy."

"Yes Dan."

"If she does say yes, you'd better take good care of her."

"I will. I know I'd have to answer to you otherwise."

Yes, thought Dan to himself, you would.

Another person entered the bathroom. This time it was Elliot.

"Hi guys" he said.

"Hi" said Dan, Casey, Isaac and Jeremy.

Elliot regarded them with suspicion as he made his way to the urinals.

"Er... So...re...how about the game last night?" he said.

"We all work on a sports show Elliot" said Casey. "Between us we know the result of just about every game of every type that took place anywhere in the world last night. What game do you mean."

"I didn't. It was just a generic question."

"A generic question."

"Sure, whenever you make eye contact with another guy in the bathroom you say 'How about the game last night?'. Didn't you know that?"

"I did" said Isaac. "I told them."

Jeremy wasn't convinced. "But what if there wasn't a game?"

"It doesn't matter. You just say it."

"And what is the response?"

"It varies. If there really was a game you can make a comment about a particular play or whatever. If there was no game you just say 'Yeah' or 'I know' or 'Unbelieveable' or something." He looked at Jeremy. "You must have done it."

"Sure I've done it" said Jeremy. "I just didn't know there were actual rules about it."

"There has to be rules" said Elliot. "Otherwise guys might start to talk in here. And we can't have that." He looked at the three of them. "Speaking of which, what ARE you guys doing in here?"

"Talking" said Casey.

"Oh" said Elliot. "What about?"

"Oh don't get me started on relationships" said Elliot when advised of the topic of conversation. "I've had it up to here with relationships."

"Really Elliot?" asked Dan.

"Sure. What is it about women that they always have to try and change you?"

"I hear you" said Casey. "If they don't like you the way you are, why do they start dating you in the first place?"

"I know. And they don't start after a few dates, they wait until it gets really serious so it's much herder to break up with them. Then they start trying to change your clothes, your appartment, your friends, the places you go, everything."

"Natalie hasn't tried to change me" said Jeremy.

"Hasn't she?" asked Casey.

"Actually yes" said Jeremy. "Now that you mention it. But she did it so sneakily I didn't notice before."

"See" said Elliot. "They're all the same. My last girlfriend tried to put me on a diet."

"No offence Elliot" said Casey "but have you never thought that might not be such a bad idea to lose a few pounds?"

"Sure I have. But if I go on a diet it will be my idea. If she didn't like me the way

I am she shouldn't have dated me."

"So you have a downer on relationships?" asked Dan.

"I have a downer on relationships AND on women."

"Relationships are wonderful" said Jeremy.

"Am I wasting my breath here?"

"He's going to ask Natalie to marry him " explained Casey.

"Oh. Well I didn't mean Natalie" said Elliot. "Natalie's really great."

"I know" said Jeremy.

"And you two are really made for each other."

"I know."

"Have you bought a ring?"

"Sure." Jeremy fumbled in his pocket and brought out a small box. He opened it and showed the others.

"Wow" said Elliot.

"That is one hell of a ring" said Isaac.

"It must have cost you a fortune" said Casey.

"You old romantic" said Dan.

"Hey, I'm as romantic as the next guy" protested Casey.

"As long as the next guy is Ebeneezer Scrooge" said Isaac to general laughter.

"So what did it cost?" asked Dan.

"Five thousand dollars."

Silence descended on the room.

"Did you say five thousand dollars?" asked Casey.

"Yes."

"You paid five thousand dollars on an engagement ring?"

"Yes. Natalie's worth it."

"Don't you know Natalie at all?" demanded Dan suddenly.

"What are you talking about Dan? Of course I know her."

"You don't if you think she's going to be impressed by a five thousand dollar ring. If you think that you don't know her at all."

"I think I know her better than you."

"Obviously you don't. Because if she wants to marry you she will be just as happy with a plastic ring from a Christmas cracker. She would tell you to give the five thousand to charity."

"Calm down Dan" said Isaac.

"I just want everything to be perfect" said Jeremy who was totally confused by Dan's reaction.

"I know Jeremy" said Casey. "And I'm sure Natalie will be completely blown away by the ring."

"I was just the same when I proposed" said Isaac. "Spent nearly two months wages on the best ring the jeweller had in his store."

"And was she blown away?" asked Jeremy.

"She said I was stupid. She said I could have used the money for a deposit on a house, or on furniture, or to put aside for our future children. But yes, under all the bluster, she was totally blown away."

"How come your relationship has lasted so long?" asked Casey.

"Never too long together. Never too long apart. And above all, compromise in all things."

"That's all?"

"Pretty much. But I'll tell you something else that helped. The magic ingredient."

"What was that?"

"We were best friends first, lovers second."

Isaac cast a meaningful look at Dan. Dan caught it but didn't know quite what to do with it.

"Of course" said Jeremy, "there's going to be the problem of the ceremony. Natalie's not too religious but I think she'd like a church wedding, which is obviously kind of difficult for me."

"Could we talk about something else for a change" asked Dan. "No offence Jeremy" he added when he saw the hurt look on Jeremy's face.

"What did you have in mind?" asked Isaac as Elliot, puzzled by Dan's behaviour, cast a questioning look at Casey.

"I don't know, anything" said Dan as Casey mouthed 'Dan has the hots for Natalie' over his shoulder to Elliot.

"How about the game last night?" said Jeremy with a grin as Elliot silently questioned Casey as to whether the Natalie returned Dan's feelings.

"Very funny" said Isaac as Casey mouthed 'They had sex' to Elliot.

"Oh my God" said Elliot.

Everyone looked at him. "Getting religious Elliot?" asked Dan.

"Er... Sorry I just remembered I forgot my mom's birthday."

"Kids today" said Isaac. "They just don't care."

"Hey, I care" said Elliot. "I'll send her some flowers."

"Flowers?"

"Lots of flowers, and chocolates."

"Is that all she means to you?" said Isaac. "Flowers and chocolates?"

"She LIKES flowers and chocolates" insisted Elliot. Then he remembered that he hadn't actually forgotten her birthday at all and decided to get back to the subject in hand. "Anyway, we aren't talking about my mom's birthday, we're talking about relationships."

"We were" said Jeremy " but Dan doesn't want to."

"Ok" said Dan, "we'll talk about relationships. Let's talk about Casey and Dana."

"Let's not talk about Casey and Dana" said Casey.

"Why not?"

"Because it's boring."

"No it isn't" said the other four men unison.

"It's a lot more interesting than Natalie and Jeremy" said Isaac.

"Well it used to be" said Elliot, but quietly so that no-one could hear.

"Why is the subject of Casey and Dana more interesting than the subject of me and Natalie?" asked Jeremy offended.

"What's interesting about you and Natalie?" said Isaac. "You get together, you live happily ever after. Nice, yes. Interesting, no."

Jeremy could only agree.

"Dana and Casey on the other hand are very intersting. They love each other, then they hate each other, then they pretend to be just friends. Very interesting."

"I'm glad to be providing such a rich source of entertainment" said Casey.

"On the other hand" said Dan, "conversations about Casey and Dana do tend to induce a feeling of deja vous."

"Yeah" agreed Elliot. "Everybody says 'Haven't we been here before?'."

"Fine. So let's not talk about it then" said Casey.

"C'mon Casey" said Dan. "I'll keep it simple. Dana, yes or no?"

"Maybe."

"Why is it so difficult for you two?" asked Isaac. "When one of you is dating, the other one gets all uptight and irritable. Then when you're both single you dance around each other like two repelling magnets."

Casey threw up his arms. "Ok, ok. I admit it. I lo..., have strong feelings for Dana. And one day, ONE day, a day of MY choosing, I MAY just do something about it. Are you satisfied now?"

"That's very clear Casey thank you" said Isaac.

"We could have a double wedding" suggested Jeremy and received a withering look from Casey for his trouble.

"I suppose if that's the best you can do" said Dan.

"It is" affirmed Casey. "Now can we please change the subject?"

"Claudia Schiffer, Elle MacPherson and Pamela Anderson" said Casey.

"You are so predictable Casey" said Dan.

"That's me" said Casey grinning.

"Isn't it Pamela Lee now" said Jeremy, pedantic as ever.

"To me, she will always be Anderson."

"I preferred Erica Eleniak" said Elliot.

"She was ok" conceded Casey, "But I think the eyebrows would have put me off."

"Very picky" said Elliot. "Ok Dan you're next." Elliot was the one who had initiated the 'list the most beautiful women in the world' game.

"Ok" said Dan. "Claire Danes, Thandie Newton, Christina Ricci and Meg Ryan."

"Hmm" said Elliot. "A quirky and eclectic mix from Mr Rydell. Jeremy?"

"Well I...."

"And you're not allowed to say Natalie."

Jeremy grinned. "Alright then. Let me see. Carrie Fisher, Denise Richards, Teri Hatcher and Lacey Chabert."

"Lacey Chabert?" said Casey. "Isn't she about fourteen?"

"She is NOT fourteen" said Jeremy. He paused before adding. "She's seventeen."

"Oh well that makes all the difference" said Casey. "It's even legal in some states."

"Look, I'm just saying she's cute ok? It's not like I go around ogling seventeen year old girls."

"Really?" said Casey. "I do."

"Doesn't everyone?" said Dan.

"I sure do" said Elliot.

"Even I have been known to indulge in the occasional discreet glance" admitted Isaac.

"Which brings me neatly to your selection" said Elliot.

"I'm not playing this game" said Isaac. "I'm a married man."

"I played it" said Jeremy, "and I'm a nearly engaged man."

"So you only have eyes for your wife?" asked Casey.

"That's right."

"And seventeen year old girls."

"If the occasion presents."

"Come on Isaac" said Dan. "You were young once. Who turned your head in the olden days?"

"Do you enjoy working here Dan?"

"Of course."

"Then less of the olden days."

"There must have been someone."

"We had other things on our minds in those days."

"Those days, these days, what's more important than women?" said Casey.

"How about civil rights?"

"Ok" conceded Casey. "But all work and no play makes Isaac a dull boy. Who did you think about to relieve your tension."

"Diana Ross."

"And she still looks good" said Dan. "Anyone else?"

"Jane Fonda."

"Good choice" said Elliot. "Now how about something a little more up to date."

"All the ladies mentioned so far are very nice."

"Come on Isaac" prompted Casey.

"Naomi Campbell."

"Sexy."

"A little haughty though" said Elliot.

"She wouldn't be haughty with me" said Isaac. And he sounded like he meant it too.

"Ok Elliot" said Jeremy. "This was your game. How about your list."

"It's a long one" said Elliot.

"Just restrict it to the top four" said Dan, "That's the most any of us have chosen.".

"Top four? How am I supposed to pick a top four?"

"Try."

Elliot thought for a few moments. "These aren't in any particular order ok?"

"Get on with it Elliot" said Casey.

"Alright, alright. Lucy lawless, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Roxanne Dawson and Jeri Ryan."

"I think I detect a couple of themes there" said Casey.

"I've never heard of any of them" said Isaac.

"Strong women is definitely one theme" said Dan.

"So I like strong women" said Elliot defensively. "What's wrong with that?"

"Watch a lot of science fiction do you?" asked Casey.

"So I like science fiction too" said Elliot. "Lots of people like science fiction. Jeremy likes science fiction."

"That's true" said Jeremy. "And it's quite a fertile hunting ground for good-looking women. There was one show called Sliders that had a really cute girl in it."

"The one who played Wade?" said Dan.

"Yeah" said Jeremy. "Wasn't she cute?"

"She was very cute" agreed Dan.

"Fifteen" said Dan.

"Sixteen" said Jeremy.

"Also sixteen" said Casey.

"Thirteen" said Elliot.

The other men looked at him.

"Alright, eighteen" he conceded.

"Thirteen" said Isaac.

The other men looked at him.

"Thirteen" he insisted. He looked at them. "You expected me to say it was on my wedding night didn't you?"

"Here you all are." The men turned at the sound of Natalie's voice as she strode into the room.

"Natalie" said Jeremy. "This is the mens-room."

"I know."

"And you're not a man."

"You noticed? Good to see you been paying attention."

"So why are you in here?" asked Isaac.

"Dana sent me to look for you."

"And you decided to look in here?

"I'm nothing if not thorough."

"But what if we were...doing something" said Elliot.

"I could handle it. I'm a big girl now."

"Well, we're big BOYS - as you might have found out if we HAD been .... doing something."

"I wouldn't be embarrassed."

"Didn't you stop to think that maybe WE would?"

"No."

"Obviously."

"So anyway. What are you up to in here? Or shouldn't I ask?"

"We're busy" said Casey.

"Busy doing what"

"Talking"

"I didn't think guys did that in the bathroom"

"We're learning."

Natalie jumped up on the counter and sat there swinging her legs. "Ok. So what are we talking about."

"It's guy stuff."

"That's ok. I can be one of the guys. Is it women? I can talk about women. Or sex? I can talk about that too. Just ask Jeremy."

The men all looked at Jeremy - except Jeremy who looked at the floor.

"I can do cars as well" continued Natalie. "And you know I can do sports so I guess that covers the entire guy conversational range."

"I think it's time we got back to work" said Isaac.

"I thought we were talking?"

"We ran out of things to say."

The men began to leave.

"Hey guys, were are you going?" she shouted. "Was it something I said?"

Natalie watched the men depart and smiled. "I knew that would get them back to work" she said to the empty room. She jumped off the counter and followed them out. Her curiosity had been piqued by their behaviour and she went in search of the one person she knew would tell her what they had been talking about. She found Dan alone in his office.

"Hey Dan."

"Hey Natalie. What can I do for you?"

"You can tell me what all that guy talk was about."

"You expect me to tell you?"

"Of course. You tell me everything, remember?"

"I remember. But maybe it was something you don't want to hear."

"Was it?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"Sounds serious."

"It is."

"Is Jeremy having an affair?"

"No."

"Ok, just checking. He's up to something though. He's been acting very suspiciously lately."

"He's not having an affair."

"So what is it then?"

"I really don't know if you'll want to hear it."

"Well you don't have to tell me if you don't want to."

"No it's not that I don't want to. It's just that you might think less of me if I do and I don't want that."

Natalie put her hand on his arm. "I could never think less of you Dan. How can you think that after all we've been through?"

Dan smiled. "I should never have doubted you."

"Too right. So do you want to tell me?"

He seemed to struggle within himself for a moment before answering. "I want to tell you."

"Good" she said with a smile. "You can take me to lunch, and then you can tell me. Ok?"

"Ok."

"I'll just tell Jeremy."

"Jeremy?"

"Yeah. I think he wanted to do something."

"Well" said Dan. "If Jeremy has plans maybe...."

"Jeremy can wait" said Natalie. "I'm all yours."

"All mine?" asked Dan.

"All yours."

She gave him another smile, rubbed his arm and then turned and walked down the corridor. Dan watched her go. "I was hoping you'd say that" he said.

THE END


End file.
